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7 Tips On

How To Have

High Self-Esteem

By Ronda Phillips I Dare to Outdo Yourself!

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CHALLENGE Yourself to:


On a scale of 1 to 10, how high would you rate your self-esteem?

If you rated yourself as a 10 for having high self-esteem, then congratulations to you!

However, if you rated yourself considerably low, no worries. Your self-esteem can be increased if this is what you desire and you're ready to take inspired action to implement some changes.

What does it mean to have self-esteem?

Self-esteem is defined as: confidence, satisfaction and pride in oneself, own value, worth or abilities; self-respect.

Self-esteem is closely related to self-confidence in that they both pertain to what you believe about yourself and how you interact with others. However, self-esteem reflects a more personal, intimate and deeper level and aspect of who you are.

Your self-esteem can either be high or low, based upon the beliefs that have been embedded or ingrained within you over the course of your life. Having high self-esteem means to be in a healthy state of being about oneself, while having low-self esteem means the opposite.

Having low self-esteem can be caused by varying factors, including the following:

Feeling unwanted or unloved by family members or spouse/partner

Being constantly bullied, ridiculed and put down by others

Living in an unhealthy or unstable home environment

Being abused (physically, sexually, verbally, emotionally, mentally)

Experiencing a traumatic event

Being controlled by others

Being isolated from society

...and these are just to name a few.

Oftentimes, when a person has low self-esteem, they may not realize it because certain issues were not addressed, they may have become numb to their "norm" or may be in denial if someone else takes notice and brings it to their attention.

When someone with low self-esteem begins to see themselves in a greater light and can get a glimpse of their full potential, when they begin to believe they do deserve to treat themselves better and to be treated better by others, when they begin to imagine the possibilities of having a more fulfilling life...then game on!

If you are serious about implementing proactive changes into your life in order to raise your self-esteem, then good for you! You are at the right place to begin right now.

Here are 7 tips on how you can have high-self esteem:


When you have been subjected to name calling and verbal abuse over the course of your life, it can be easy to believe what others have spoken at, to and about you. You may have mumbled under your breath on numerous occasions how "stupid" or "dumb" you were after making innocent mistakes or decisions that were questionable. 

If you believe that you are "good for nothing" because that's what you've heard others call you since childhood, you can easily fall into a slump of depression or a "pity party" whenever nothing seems to be going right in your life. You may not even realize that you're thinking and speaking negatively about yourself out of habit, which could be stressing you out and making you ill -- physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally.

There is no need to beat yourself up or to put yourself down with harsh thoughts or words. Everyone makes mistakes. Learn from the decisions you've made and move on. Even laugh it off if you can. Think and speak life into yourself and your circumstances. Capture your thoughts before you say anything. Let your words about yourself and your life always be fruitful, golden, nourishing and fortifying -- revealing that which is lovely, good and praise-worthy -- and you'll always have what you think and say.


There is only one you, so take real good care of you. Nurture your body, mind and soul daily. Maintain good grooming and hygiene. Eat healthy, drink plenty of water and exercise. Meditate. Seek proper medical attention throughout the year. Before you focus on anything or anyone else, take care of you. Relax. Go to the salon and spa occasionally if you can, or pamper yourself at home. 

Making daily self-care a priority will enable you to be well-equipped to provide quality time and attention to others in your life, along with your meaningful endeavors. Appreciate, value and respect who you are. If you show that you care very little for yourself, others may show little regard toward you in return. Love the skin you're in. 


When you legitimately earn your own income, you feel a sense of purpose and contribution to society as you add value to benefit the lives of others. Sometimes we may have to start out taking jobs that may not be what we want initially, however it may help pay the bills for the time being. In the meantime, stay marketable. Learn new skills and continue your education in order attain the necessary credentials to get a higher paying job, establish a lucrative career or profession, or start your own business.  

Having no money can be depressing. Likewise, having someone else control what you're able to spend because they control the money can feel awkward and degrading. You may adapt to accepting whatever amount they choose to give you. You may lack certain things you want or need that you would likely buy for yourself if you earned your own money. Don't short change yourself or settle for less than what you deserve. Excel at what you do, and prove your worth so you can earn a legitimate income accordingly. Aside from earning your own money, make sure you have access to spend what you earn. Budget wisely. Invest. Save.


Whether it be the clothes, accessories and shoes you wear, or the way you furnish and decorate your home, your style should be reflective of who you truly are. In what way do you want to represent yourself to others? What message does your style convey to others? Does your style reflect being clean, neat and clutter-free? Invest in quality. Have continuity with fabrics, colors, textures, patterns and sizes to be proportionate and well-suited for your overall style. Surround yourself, your home and anything else that is a part of your individuality, with whatever brings you pure joy.

Don't get caught up in the latest fashion or trend just because that's what everyone else is going after. Your authentic style should capture the core essence of who you are at any stage of your life. Represent your individual style in the highest form. Let your image -- your overall style, show and speak for itself. Wear it well. Smile. When talking to others, look them directly in the eyes. Stand up straight. Walk tall with your head up high. And aside from looking good, your style should be comfortable and bring you joy, making you feel good -- from the inside-out.   


Okay, so family is family -- and you cannot change that. Unfortunately though, some family members can be somewhat difficult to interact with or be around. Then there are other people you may simply tolerate because of your involvement with them due to certain roles, responsibilities or levels of accountability you share. You may have annoying co-workers, unfriendly neighbors or negative friends that somehow manage to bring you down at times, causing you to feel like they're sucking the life out of you. 

Although you cannot change people, and you may not be able to avoid interacting with certain people, you can choose how you will respond when you are around them. If you can manage to deal with them at a distance and in the shortest time frame possible without causing friction, then do what you can. Otherwise, be calm, polite, cordial, and tactful accordingly. 

And in the meantime, spend more time associating with people who encourage you, lift you up and genuinely have your well-being and best interests at heart. As the saying goes, "you're known by the company you keep." Get to know others who have similar interests as you, that also hang out at places that bring you joy and contribute toward you having a healthy lifestyle. Do you go to the gym? Do you hang out at museums and art galleries? Do you attend a ministry? Do you take classes for your favorite hobby or continuing education? Do you attend meet-ups and social events? Inspiring and uplifting people are somewhere in your presence. Take notice. Gravitate. Associate. Relate.


If you always depend on others to bring you happiness and make you feel complete, you can set yourself up for a big let down. You are responsible for your own happiness. Others in return, add to the happiness that you create for yourself. Do things for yourself that bring you joy. Listen to your favorite music. Read your favorite books. Eat your favorite foods. Watch your favorite TV shows and movies. Do things that will make you laugh and have fun in a healthy way. Travel, and take vacations or weekend getaways. Get comfortable with going to new places locally, including different restaurants and special events -- and be okay with choosing to stay at home or going out alone -- to enjoy your own company. 


Having high self-esteem does not mean being self-absorbed, rude, obnoxious, prideful, arrogant or giving the impression that you are better than others. However, as the saying goes, "if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Show others how much you respect yourself and value your worth. Stand up for what you believe in -- surely that which is positive, meaningful and beneficial on behalf of your life and the lives of others. Be open to hearing the opinions of others in order to understand their perspective, even if you don't agree.

Likewise, if you strongly believe in something, know why and do not hesitate to express yourself if necessary. If you choose to do something, know the purpose and value in doing so. If others question you on your beliefs or choices, be prepared to stand up for yourself with concrete assertion. Be tactful, and articulate yourself with strong conviction accordingly. Others may have a hard time accepting you standing up for yourself if they have been used to you being a "yes" person for as long as they've known you. They may even try to intimidate you into staying silent. Don't back down. Have courage and do it afraid if necessary. Keep on standing up for yourself -- eventually others will get used to the new you and will come around if they choose to continue to stick around.


Taking initial steps toward having high self-esteem can be a little scary for you at first. However, it's important to remember that you only have one life to live, so take inspired action and work on yourself to be the best version of you in every aspect so you can live your life to the fullest extent.

Be reminded of these 7 tips on how you can have high self-esteem:

1. Think and speak positively of yourself

2. Make self-care a priority

3. Earn your own money

4. Represent your authentic style

5. Surround yourself with uplifting people

6. Create your own happiness

7. Stand up for yourself

Living your life with high self-esteem is freeing, and can position you to be ready to have the abundant lifestyle you desire.

The eBook, PE Class Workout Guide authored by Ronda Phillips is a personal development and self improvement resource that can also help position you to be productive during the day. The ebook also includes Purpose and Empowerment Right Now Declarations, which provides hundreds of declarations to help remind you of who you are and that the best is still to come in your life. This recommended resource also includes a Manifestation Evaluation, Manifestation Equation, and Daily Manifestation Worksheet. This ebook is also an ideal keepsake gift for someone you care about. You can go here to discover more about the eBook,PE Class Workout Guide.

To Your Empowerment!

Known for her creative style, positive influence and straightforward professionalism, Ronda Phillips is a certified life coach,author, speaker, television host, style expert and entrepreneur. Her core mission is to empower and challenge individuals to become propelled to take charge of their life through preparation, performance and persistence. Ronda is the founder of Dare to Outdo Yourself!

Prepare. Perform. Persist.

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